Life is a Terminal Illness

by Cask

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An emotional roller-coaster from beginning to end. With hard rock and grunge pushed into explosive tracks like the 14-minute epic "Messengers Part I: Sands of Karanis".
This is the biggest and grandest effort of Cask J. Thomson's career.


released August 1, 2018

Copyright (c) – AudioDefine Records, Cask J. Thomson
Recorded At – DefinitiveAudio Studios, QLD Australia
Mixed At – CaskWhine Studios, Australia
Record Company – AudioDefine Records

Artwork By – Cask J. Thomson
Vocals, Drums, Electric Guitar, Bass Guitar, Keyboards – Cask J. Thomson
Vocals on Track 2 - Danielle Blythe
Engineer – Adam Kasper, Greg Gordon
Mixed By – Cask J. Thomson
Producer – Cask J. Thomson, Doc James Chillblains

“Mistress” and “Unfaithful” originally © 2008 Cursed Legacy, appearing on “Death of a Hero” (2008) AD-CLDOAH


all rights reserved



Cask Australia

Cask J. Thomson is an English musician, singer, songwriter and graphic designer most closely associated with the progressive rock and metal genres. In 2018 he released his progressive rock epic "Life is a Terminal Illness" with his latest album "Surviving on Borrowed Time", described as the first part in a "tragic dystopian trilogy" releasing in January 2020 ... more

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Track Name: Me Without You
There is a place inside my dreams
Where I can see you and me
So beautiful incredibly
But I know it cannot be

I wanna show the world around me
I wanna tell just what you mean to me
You break my heart every time that I see
Me without you

There was a time when I was proud
That I could even figure you out
That time has gone, you've moved on now
I wish that you had stuck around

Maybe we will be together in the future but I haven't heard from you in years
Do you ever think about us and what we could have been?
I knew you were the one from me I hope they never find your body
Track Name: Drowning in March
Please don't leave me now.

As the water covers the ceiling
The cold embracing my face
I'm down here where no one can hear me
And I'm so out of place
Will you tell the world I tried my best?
And tell them I meant no harm
If only you could understand
What I had become.

Don't try to tell me that you care
Like you even give a shit

Darling please don't leave me now
It's getting so cold
You know I'm afraid of the dark
Please don't let me go

As the tide slowly picks up
and I try to stretch out my hand
Don't let it end like this
Please just give me one more chance
Will you tell our little girls that I'm sorry?
That I married such a bitch!
and you won't have to worry
This will not be the end of it

I know that you'll play the victim
'cos that's what you always do

Darling please don't leave me now
I'll do whatever you say
I promise not to tell a soul
I don't want it to end this way
Darling please don't leave me now
Getting so cold
I'm afraid of the dark
Don't go
I'm watching you pull away (I am pulling away)
I feel my body sink (I am leaving now)
Please don't go (I'll be gone. I will watch you drown)
Track Name: Mistress
Am I unnoticeable to you?
Wish that you could see this
And I am nothing do you approve? Of this mess
And if I had my way I swear I’d tell you exactly how I felt
But it’s not the same when you don’t read it spelled out
The wish of the seasons changing and the truth reflected it’s over
Your mother and your father raised you, embraced you and now you’re gone
And all I wish I had said was goodbye
I was feeling so guilty that I’d lied

Go on you’ll be happy without me
When you’re gone maybe soon you’ll see
That I could have done better, I should have done better.,

I, I promised you that it would be just fine
When it was not
And you, you stabbed my back a million times
And it still hurts
And you looked at me and with love that you swore on your life
I can’t believe I "admitted I'd lied"

Time will heal these scars. Heal them from our hearts.
Track Name: Heaven's First Redemption
Well I gave you my honesty, I gave you my way
And in this rock hard bed I try not to pray
Keep my bible beside me but I'm losing my faith
You keep me down how much more can I take?

Heaven help me fight this battle
Let me win
I'm lonely and I'm lost
I keep on holding to my cross
Fighting this cancer
Waiting forever for an answer

Well I read your letters and boy did I pray
Pull the covers over me, make sure I stay awake
You stand above me and the Earth as it quakes
You sit contempt and watch me break

Well I offered my problems, counted my blessings each day
But when I got on my knees, you simply turned away
Kept my hands together tight, and refused to go astray
You kept me waiting, now it's too late

Well the room has no light
And the smell is unnerving
The ground is hard
I have a shadow I can't stand
And this promise isn't all that great
For the time that I'm serving
Don't care much for dreams as they slip from my hand
Track Name: Throwaway
Thrown away like a bag in the wind
It all starts where it begins
Discarded like a broken mirror
It all ends when it gets clearer
Lost myself between then and now
Still can't work it all out
Looking back, did I have anything?
Holding onto what the future brings

Honey did you see me in the paper last week?
My face displayed on the milk bottle

Thrown away like a chewed cat toy
At least that was enjoyed
Discarded like a shopping trolley
Where did you last see me?
Did I run away or was I kidnapped?
It all happened so fast
The alcohol sinks to the bottom
Along with my new found stardom
Track Name: Wondering Forever
I wish we could go back
To before we were single
I always made you laugh
And there was no time for simple
You and I spent every day
Getting to know each other
Then we both went our separate ways
And we found new lovers

I hope you found what you were looking for
And that you're happy together
Did you get what you want and more?
I'll be wondering forever

Last I heard you were married with kids
And you moved overseas
A nice house by the lake, candlelit
On a posh looking street
We were young and so unafraid
Taking whatever we were dealt
But I let my efforts decay
And never said how I felt

Does he hold you close when you sleep?
And do you have what you always wanted?
Do you ever think what could have been?
I'm sorry that you never got it
Track Name: One Final Redemption
I heard your voice on the radio
Prayed to heaven to redeem myself
The covers can't be taken off me now
So Messiah: I am letting go

Too young too late to understand
We cried out for help in this battle (you weren't listening)
A family flying high now forced to land (holding on so tightly)
So Messiah: I am letting go

Thank you as I pleaded for your answer
I tried so very hard to fix this cancer
And where were you?
Where were you?

My faith died now over 30 years ago
Still can't believe it's been so long
Now I'm an elder and I'm pleading still
And you say I don't have a heart?

Heaven help me light this candle
Redeeming for my sins
I've given all that I've got
I've inverted my cross
Fighting this cancer
Waited forever for an answer
Track Name: Unfaithful
Don’t know what you see in his eyes but I hope he’s worth it
Lately it’s been no surprise but we can get through this
I know I shouldn’t give second chances
Sometimes it’s not that easy just to leave
I know that I shouldn’t bother looking past it
But lately I feel hurt and deceived

I can’t help but think about you and him
And how he had you against the wall
I’ll never be able to trust you again
How could you be so unfaithful?

I don’t know what was in your mind but I hope I was there
and lately I can’t get it out of my head oh how I wish that you cared
[oh I wish that you cared]
And I know that I shouldn’t study what happened
But it hurts more not to know
Obsession thoughts have become such a habit
I know I'll have to let you go

Did you think about me when you got undressed?
Did you wonder if we'd have anything left?
The trust I never gave you just goes to show
When were you going to tell me? Because I feel like the whole world knows. (I feel like the whole world knows)
Track Name: Mistress Part II: See What Tomorrow Brings
You may only see it once
You may never see it again
There's a good chance that when it's gone
That this will be the end of everything
You could let me go right now
And I wouldn't say anything
But I'd have it figured out
So I will see what tomorrow brings - it'll be interesting

There's one thing left to say
Then I'll have nothing to say to you
You're the one that got away
And I've get nothing left to lose

You may decide to let me go
And I would have to accept my fate
But I would have to let you know
Before I thought it was too late
You're not the best I've ever had
No you're not even slightly close
Now you're gone and I can say I'm glad
Because I've taken a new road

You may see it only once
But you will never see it again
I had it all figured out
See what tomorrow brings, bring it back again
Track Name: This Christmas
This Christmas I wanna be alone
Cos that's what happens every year
This Christmas I'm not going home
Because you are not there
This Christmas will just be the same
No hot meal no Christmas tree
So here it is, merry Christmas from the bottom of the bottle
So here it is merry Christmas I've got jack all.

This Christmas I'm going to ruin yours
As you have always done mine
There will no fairy lights on your Christmas tree
This Christmas your wish will come true
You'll finally be rid of me
The police will come visit you
And I'll be at the bottom of the sea
Track Name: Mistress Part III: Happier Without Me
And all I want to say is goodbye
Washing away one more night
And all I ever want is a chance to say
This isn't how I wanted it to end
You, you promised me that it would be just fine when it was not
And now I'm realising that we were never more than friends

And so it was true
That time would finally heal these scars
But I can't say I'm truly happy without you
What's the point of happiness if you can't enjoy your life
And what's the point of happiness if you have no one to share it with?
Track Name: Cut Me Out
You cut me down
You build me up again
You break me out
You try to be a friend
and lately I
Have had nothing to do with you
The phone lights up
You've got something to prove
And maybe I still have feelings
but I've gotta say goodbye to you again

You've caught me out
You've made it clear again
You want an enemy
And I'm in fear again
But maybe it's worth it
Maybe this is more than careless sex?
I have taken away all that I have for you
I see the emails constantly coming through
You call me up, you break me down again
Maybe I need to say goodbye
Track Name: Messengers Part I: Sands of Karanis
We seek to know why you have come
Are you a God or the ghost of someone?
We wish to know what we have done
To deserve this fate, the chosen sons
Have you come to take us beyond this plane?
We built these structures in your name

Messengers of the sky
You came, you brought us life
Messengers of the sky
The cult will bring your light

We see you come from the stars
Where do you come from is it far?
Will you bless us with healthy crops and rain?
Or do you intend to unleash more pain?
The sands, may they guide you home
And bring good fortune to our Nome

Messengers of the sky
You came, you brought us life
Messengers of the sky
The cult will bring your light
Messengers of the sky
Witness as we fall
Messengers of the sky
Will you enslave us all?
Track Name: Forgiveness
There will come a time
When you will ask for forgiveness
Maybe at that time
You will get it
But maybe not
Maybe not

There will be a place
Where the grass is greener
And maybe in that place
You will find your demeanour
You may be lost
Simply lost

There will be a time
Where I decide to forgive
But at this time
I will choose not to forget
All that I lost
And at what cost

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