Life is a Terminal Illness

by [CASK]

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    Cardboard gatefold with single pocket. Signed by Cask. Can be personalised/addressed to you or whoever you're cursing this gift upon.
    Silver disc with thermal print
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 5 [CASK] releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Surviving on Borrowed Time, Surviving on Borrowed Time DOOMSDAY EDITION, Words Not Needed, Life is a Terminal Illness (Instrumentals), and Life is a Terminal Illness. , and , .

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There is a place inside my dreams Where I can see you and me So beautiful incredibly But I know it cannot be I wanna show the world around me I wanna tell just what you mean to me You break my heart every time that I see Me without you There was a time when I was proud That I could even figure you out That time has gone, you've moved on now I wish that you had stuck around Maybe we will be together in the future but I haven't heard from you in years Do you ever think about us and what we could have been? I knew you were the one from me I hope they never find your body
Please don't leave me now. As the water covers the ceiling The cold embracing my face I'm down here where no one can hear me And I'm so out of place Will you tell the world I tried my best? And tell them I meant no harm If only you could understand What I had become. Don't try to tell me that you care Like you even give a shit Darling please don't leave me now It's getting so cold You know I'm afraid of the dark Please don't let me go As the tide slowly picks up and I try to stretch out my hand Don't let it end like this Please just give me one more chance Will you tell our little girls that I'm sorry? That I married such a bitch! and you won't have to worry This will not be the end of it I know that you'll play the victim 'cos that's what you always do Darling please don't leave me now I'll do whatever you say I promise not to tell a soul I don't want it to end this way Darling please don't leave me now Getting so cold I'm afraid of the dark Don't go I'm watching you pull away (I am pulling away) I feel my body sink (I am leaving now) Please don't go (I'll be gone. I will watch you drown)
Mistress 05:26
Am I unnoticeable to you? Wish that you could see this And I am nothing do you approve? Of this mess And if I had my way I swear I’d tell you exactly how I felt But it’s not the same when you don’t read it spelled out The wish of the seasons changing and the truth reflected it’s over Your mother and your father raised you, embraced you and now you’re gone And all I wish I had said was goodbye I was feeling so guilty that I’d lied Go on you’ll be happy without me When you’re gone maybe soon you’ll see That I could have done better, I should have done better., I, I promised you that it would be just fine When it was not And you, you stabbed my back a million times And it still hurts And you looked at me and with love that you swore on your life I can’t believe I "admitted I'd lied" Time will heal these scars. Heal them from our hearts.
Well I gave you my honesty, I gave you my way And in this rock hard bed I try not to pray Keep my bible beside me but I'm losing my faith You keep me down how much more can I take? Heaven help me fight this battle Pleading Let me win I'm lonely and I'm lost I keep on holding to my cross Fighting this cancer Waiting forever for an answer Well I read your letters and boy did I pray Pull the covers over me, make sure I stay awake You stand above me and the Earth as it quakes You sit contempt and watch me break Well I offered my problems, counted my blessings each day But when I got on my knees, you simply turned away Kept my hands together tight, and refused to go astray You kept me waiting, now it's too late Well the room has no light And the smell is unnerving The ground is hard I have a shadow I can't stand And this promise isn't all that great For the time that I'm serving Don't care much for dreams as they slip from my hand
Throwaway 04:07
Thrown away like a bag in the wind It all starts where it begins Discarded like a broken mirror It all ends when it gets clearer Lost myself between then and now Still can't work it all out Looking back, did I have anything? Holding onto what the future brings Honey did you see me in the paper last week? My face displayed on the milk bottle Thrown away like a chewed cat toy At least that was enjoyed Discarded like a shopping trolley Where did you last see me? Did I run away or was I kidnapped? It all happened so fast The alcohol sinks to the bottom Along with my new found stardom
I wish we could go back To before we were single I always made you laugh And there was no time for simple You and I spent every day Getting to know each other Then we both went our separate ways And we found new lovers I hope you found what you were looking for And that you're happy together Did you get what you want and more? I'll be wondering forever Last I heard you were married with kids And you moved overseas A nice house by the lake, candlelit On a posh looking street We were young and so unafraid Taking whatever we were dealt But I let my efforts decay And never said how I felt Does he hold you close when you sleep? And do you have what you always wanted? Do you ever think what could have been? I'm sorry that you never got it
I heard your voice on the radio Prayed to heaven to redeem myself The covers can't be taken off me now So Messiah: I am letting go Too young too late to understand We cried out for help in this battle (you weren't listening) A family flying high now forced to land (holding on so tightly) So Messiah: I am letting go Thank you as I pleaded for your answer I tried so very hard to fix this cancer And where were you? Where were you? My faith died now over 30 years ago Still can't believe it's been so long Now I'm an elder and I'm pleading still And you say I don't have a heart? Heaven help me light this candle Redeeming for my sins I've given all that I've got I've inverted my cross Fighting this cancer Waited forever for an answer
Unfaithful 05:09
Don’t know what you see in his eyes but I hope he’s worth it Lately it’s been no surprise but we can get through this I know I shouldn’t give second chances Sometimes it’s not that easy just to leave I know that I shouldn’t bother looking past it But lately I feel hurt and deceived I can’t help but think about you and him And how he had you against the wall I’ll never be able to trust you again How could you be so unfaithful? I don’t know what was in your mind but I hope I was there and lately I can’t get it out of my head oh how I wish that you cared [oh I wish that you cared] And I know that I shouldn’t study what happened But it hurts more not to know Obsession thoughts have become such a habit I know I'll have to let you go Did you think about me when you got undressed? Did you wonder if we'd have anything left? The trust I never gave you just goes to show When were you going to tell me? Because I feel like the whole world knows. (I feel like the whole world knows)
You may only see it once You may never see it again There's a good chance that when it's gone That this will be the end of everything You could let me go right now And I wouldn't say anything But I'd have it figured out So I will see what tomorrow brings - it'll be interesting There's one thing left to say Then I'll have nothing to say to you You're the one that got away And I've get nothing left to lose You may decide to let me go And I would have to accept my fate But I would have to let you know Before I thought it was too late You're not the best I've ever had No you're not even slightly close Now you're gone and I can say I'm glad Because I've taken a new road You may see it only once But you will never see it again I had it all figured out See what tomorrow brings, bring it back again
This Christmas I wanna be alone Cos that's what happens every year This Christmas I'm not going home Because you are not there This Christmas will just be the same No hot meal no Christmas tree So here it is, merry Christmas from the bottom of the bottle So here it is merry Christmas I've got jack all. This Christmas I'm going to ruin yours As you have always done mine There will no fairy lights on your Christmas tree This Christmas your wish will come true You'll finally be rid of me The police will come visit you And I'll be at the bottom of the sea
And all I want to say is goodbye Washing away one more night And all I ever want is a chance to say This isn't how I wanted it to end You, you promised me that it would be just fine when it was not And now I'm realising that we were never more than friends (spoken) And so it was true That time would finally heal these scars But I can't say I'm truly happy without you What's the point of happiness if you can't enjoy your life And what's the point of happiness if you have no one to share it with?
Cut Me Out 03:26
You cut me down You build me up again You break me out You try to be a friend and lately I Have had nothing to do with you The phone lights up You've got something to prove And maybe I still have feelings but I've gotta say goodbye to you again You've caught me out You've made it clear again You want an enemy And I'm in fear again But maybe it's worth it Maybe this is more than careless sex? I have taken away all that I have for you I see the emails constantly coming through You call me up, you break me down again Maybe I need to say goodbye
We seek to know why you have come Are you a God or the ghost of someone? We wish to know what we have done To deserve this fate, the chosen sons Have you come to take us beyond this plane? We built these structures in your name Messengers of the sky You came, you brought us life Messengers of the sky The cult will bring your light We see you come from the stars Where do you come from is it far? Will you bless us with healthy crops and rain? Or do you intend to unleash more pain? The sands, may they guide you home And bring good fortune to our Nome Messengers of the sky You came, you brought us life Messengers of the sky The cult will bring your light Messengers of the sky Witness as we fall Messengers of the sky Will you enslave us all?
Forgiveness 03:44
There will come a time When you will ask for forgiveness Maybe at that time You will get it But maybe not Maybe not There will be a place Where the grass is greener And maybe in that place You will find your demeanour You may be lost Simply lost There will be a time Where I decide to forgive But at this time I will choose not to forget All that I lost And at what cost


An emotional roller-coaster from beginning to end. With hard rock and grunge pushed into explosive tracks like the 14-minute epic "Messengers Part I: Sands of Karanis".
This is the biggest and grandest effort of Cask J. Thomson's career.


released August 1, 2018

Copyright (c) – AudioDefine Records, Cask J. Thomson
Recorded At – DefinitiveAudio Studios, QLD Australia
Mixed At – CaskWhine Studios, Australia
Record Company – AudioDefine Records

Artwork By – Cask J. Thomson
Vocals, Drums, Electric Guitar, Bass Guitar, Keyboards – Cask J. Thomson
Vocals on Track 2 - Danielle Blythe
Engineer – Adam Kasper, Greg Gordon
Mixed By – Cask J. Thomson
Producer – Cask J. Thomson, Doc James Chillblains

“Mistress” and “Unfaithful” originally © 2008 Cursed Legacy, appearing on “Death of a Hero” (2008) AD-CLDOAH


all rights reserved



[CASK] Australia

Cask J. Thomson is an Scottish-born Australian music composer and producer best known for his progressive rock and metal releases as [CASK].
In 2018, he released his progressive rock epic "Life is a Terminal Illness" with "Surviving on Borrowed Time" following in December of 2019.
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